Hey there. Hope your day went great.
Today’s prompt of the #21dayschallenge http://ugbloc.com/ugblogmonth-april-may-2020/ is very personal to me.
As my header image today suggests, every girl loves to receive flowers, chocolates and random packages during the day being told she is missed and loved. This is a sign that you’re thinking about them and women love being though about, even the women who puts up a very stern atmosphere can’t resist this. But my relationship advice will not be based on these material expressions of love because beyond the ‘aww’ and ‘bubu’, there’s a lot of work that needs to be put in to sustain that relationship!
I could say a million things about the do’s and don’ts of relationships, but then again, I’m still a novice in these matters. So, I’ll speak from the perspective of a girl who has been in amazing relationships and would love to share a thing or two. Being a Christian, my viewpoint will largely be based on that paradigm.
Sooo, where to begin?
The two most significant things I’d like to share with you is firstly, work on your vertical relationship with God and secondly, know your love language.
On the first, the Bible in 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love. In my perspective, its very difficult to spill out love if you don’t know love, who is God. Most times, what the media has shown us is the spark that comes at first sight that is sustained by intimacy. But believe you me, this is an utterly wrong reflection of what a relationship ought to be.
My relationships have taught me that God is the only cord that can sustain them. Once you understand the nature of God, His mercy, His unrelenting love, His patience, my goodness! His sacrifices so much so that He gave us His only son!! What will you not do in your relationship? Most times our flesh fails us to expect so much from our partners and seek perfection that we can only find in God. God teaches us in 1 Corinthians 13, through Paul, the attributes of love. Trust me, you can’t display these attributes in the absence of God.
So, for those in relationships, seek God first before your partner. (1 Corinthians 7) Seek His grace and approval in times of conflict, don’t let the sun go down on your anger and radiate the same love that God has given you to them. For those not in relationships, my best advice is for you to first cultivate a relationship with your author and the author of love before seeking any human intimacy and interaction.
On the second, Garry Chapman says in The Five love languages, that you will appreciate your partner more if they speak the same language as you. Most relationships fail due to lack of appreciation. Have you ever felt like you go out of your way to make your partner happy and even break your back, but they never appreciate you or notice? This is because you’re not speaking in their language.
I’d advice everyone in a relationship to either read this book or those not yet in a relationship, get to understand what language you speak most and then let your future partner resonate with it. Because outside of that, ya’ll will be in bitter, unappreciated and dull relationships.
So yes, those are the two most important things that I think every person in or out of a relationship needs to know.